Learn how Saul tried to mask evil intentions with “good” motives to guilt trip his son.
Saul Said to Jonathan, “I Have Your Best Interest At Heart.”
Last night, my mind was really drawn to 1 Samuel 20:31. It was as if Saul said to Jonathan, “I am looking out for your future. I have your best interest in heart. Jonathan, I want you to be king after me.” Yes, as pointed out in the introduction of my article, “12 Things One Verse Tells Us About The Abusive Mind”, Saul had just cursed out Jonathan in 1 Samuel 20:30. However, almost in the same breath, he presented himself as one who only desired his son’s good. The reason Saul stated that he wanted David to die was so his son could be king.
1 Samuel 20:30, 31
30 Then Saul’s anger was kindled against Jonathan, and he said unto him, Thou son of the perverse rebellious woman, do not I know that thou hast chosen the son of Jesse to thine own confusion, and unto the confusion of thy mother’s nakedness?
31 For as long as the son of Jesse liveth upon the ground, thou shalt not be established, nor thy kingdom. Wherefore now send and fetch him unto me, for he shall surely die.
If we paused this conversation in 1 Samuel 20 to just those two verses, we would see that Jonathan had two options based on Saul’s false reasoning. Jonathan could either trust his father’s words and believe that his dad really was looking out for him, or he could believe that Saul’s words were calculated to hide his “hatred with lying lips.” Proverbs 10:18.
Which option would a son who loved his father choose?
“Jonathan could either trust his father’s words and believe that his dad really was looking out for him, or he could believe that Saul’s words were calculated to hide his ‘hatred with lying lips.’ Proverbs 10:18.”
Saul’s 2 Tactics to Guilt Trip His Son = (1) Devalue His Son Then (2) Offer A “Benevolent” Excuse For Sin.
Jonathan, Saul Said, Was The Guilty Party.
It took me approximately 11 seconds to read out loud Saul’s sharp words to Jonathan in 1 Samuel 20:30. In a few seconds, those words served Saul’s purpose to try to utterly destroy Jonathan’s confidence in his own ability to think in a God fearing way and be friends with David. Jonathan, not Saul, was the supposed guilty party.
Saul Quickly Tried To Hide His Hatred With A “Benevolent” Excuse
Right after Saul cursed at Jonathan, he basically said he was looking out for Jonathan in 1 Samuel 20:31. His hatred for David and his son was hidden under the guise of care and compassion. In a very short encounter, Saul quickly went from cursing his son, to saying he cared for him, to trying to kill him with a javelin.
“In a very short encounter, Saul quickly went from cursing his son, to saying he cared for him, to trying to kill him with a javelin.”
How could Jonathan know what is truth?
Watch: Trait #5 of the Abusive mind: Abusers Try to Distort the Truth based on 1 Samuel 20:30
Psalm 55:21 was an accurate description of Saul: “The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords.”
Being Double Minded Serves Satan’s Purposes Better
“A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” James 1:8.
Saul could have just said to Jonathan, “You’re a son of a prostitute. You’ve shamed both yourself and your mother very greatly. I hate you!” However, the devil wanted to make Saul have an semblance of love for Jonathan. If Jonathan could believe his father loved him while Saul was cursing at him, it would be easier for Jonathan believe Saul’s lies about him. If Jonathan could believe he was the one at fault and his father was the loving one, Saul’s guilt trip would have worked. Then Jonathan would have joined forces with Saul to try to kill David. Unfortunately today, in the name of so called love, angry outbursts occur; unlike Jonathan, many of those abused have low self worth because they’ve grown up with this false idea of love. They live life under the distorted truth of their abuser.
“Unfortunately today, in the name of so called love, angry outbursts occur; unlike Jonathan, many times those abused have low self worth because they’ve grown up with this false idea of love. They live life under the distorted truth of their abuser.”
Should Blessings and Cursings Really Come Out of the Same Mouth?
James 3:8-12 says, “…The tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.”
“Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.”
These verses help us to know that either Saul hated his son or he loved him in the encounter of 1 Samuel 20:27-34. The fruit of Saul’s actions show that no matter what fair speech he mingled with his curse words, he hated and wanted to kill Jonathan.
Our Shield From Modern Day Guilt Trips
As I prayerfully analyze 1 Samuel 20:30, 31, I see a great need for us to know what our value is in Christ and be able to know what is truth based on what the Bible–not man–says. “To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.” Isaiah 8:20.
Do you believe the truth about real, Godly, Biblical love, or do you believe the devil’s lies about yourself?
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